I had a nightmare. It was the kind of a bad dream that sets a deja vu. It was something that is too familiar. It gave me an upset tummy; and I cried.
I never wanted to have feelings for someone who doesn’t give a bit of interest for me. But I did anyway; and I still do. (God, I am such a romantic.)
Yes! When I leaned left and saw him snuggling with our daughter, a sweet sensation filled me. I love this man no matter how much he doesn’t give a fuck about me. I love him then and I love him now. It may have been quite blurry in between but it has always been clear in my center.
This is a sad truth but not necessarily frustrating. All I want to do now is love him. I have to love him like it matters, like I matter. Because it is the only way to pursue my own happiness. Damn them all who dare judge me!
Punyeta. Noon, palagi akong naghahanap ng pag-ibig na makapagbabago ng pagkatao. Ito yun eh. Hindi dahil napaluhod ako o napaluha, kundi dahil natuto akong maging mapagkumbaba. Namulat ako sa katotohanang hindi lahat ng pagmamahal ay nasusuklian. At okay lang yun dahil ang tunay na nagmamahal ay hindi dapat humihingi ng kapalit.